Growing up, we're taught that being the bigger person is generally the "best" person to be in a situation. Or at least - that's the role that we sometimes accept during an altercation. Lately, I've been frantically trying to fit myself in this role. It's been hard and sometimes it makes me seem fake but maybe I'm learning a lesson here. The lesson is unbeknownst to me as of right now but there's a lesson in everything, right? I'm hoping.
Lately, I've been getting way too involved with someone who has shown signs of being nothing but poison but being that it's human nature we tend to like things that are sometimes hazardous to our health. Maybe that's a bit extreme? I've tried ignoring him, being uber nice to him and simply giving in (I'll expound later...or not). BUT y'all this has been hard for me. I actually can see that there's some maturation going on because the old me would have let this guy have it and called it a day.
I tried the entire, "I'm not speaking to you today but I will make you perfectly aware of what you're missing" Failed. I tried being really nice, with intentions of throwing him for a loop - failed. ---- that only made me realize how naive I was being. AND lastly, I just gave in....just letting my emotions play out and y'all that is the worst of the worst. NEVER let your emotions take the lead - they'll lead you astray EVERY time...well maybe not EVERY time but SOME of the time.
Nonetheless, I've realized that usually when things are this "hard" or "complicated" it's time to just let it go. As much as I may miss the attention (because truly that's all I was really digging) I'll be straight. I'm getting re-equipped to handle situations like this a bit better.
with love,
april.
