Empty Me.

One of my favorite gospel song is Empty Me by William Murphy.  He sings that if God finds anything in Him that's not like Him that he would empty him.  More of God.  Less of Me.   I used to sing the song half way understanding -  I thought I knew but now I know.  I thought about the scripture 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a NEW creatures OLD things are passed away behold ALL things are become NEW."  When you're new - the old you is empty.  You don't fulfill those old desires because they're gone.  You're new.  You're bleached.  My friend emphasized that new is like clean - and he used bleached as an analogy - bleach turns the darkest things light - but sometimes the smell is too strong to endure - the "process" is rough - and that's how it is - we need to be bleached so God can turn our darkness into light.  Jesus is Light.  The way, the truth...the light of the world.  Man.  You never really understand until you seek.   It makes sense.  23 years and I thought I had it.  Thank you Jesus.

You are.

Rambling..

We often quote, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek God to find it"  it's possible that i misquoted that because I was going off the dome but last night I and a friend really analyzed it.

When you are so lost in God with your whole heart the world can't find it and in order to get you a man has to come through God.   I don't think we truly get it.   It requires a total submission to God in order to be lost -- and that's what I'm working towards.   I'm ready for my next to be my last.   We life of the ideal that we're young and we have time for "trial and error" relationships but who wants to continue bouncing back and forth experimenting?  I don't.  My last relationship with Brandon was a major eye opener.   I experienced love on a different level.    I always thought at the end of the day people fought endlessly for what they love and you work towards making it work but some things are meant to fall apart so better things can fall together.  As cliche' as that may sound it's true.   Lately I've really been grasping that people come into your life for various reasons.  To shape you - to mold you - for your next.  Break up sucks - because it leaves you vulnerable.   It's a different type of hurt that we never fathom.   BUT now I can rejoice because I know that some day my man of God is coming and I am patient.  I've truly accepted it.....and it feels good.

I know this post is all over the place but hopefully through it all my point was clear....if there was a point.  =)

April. <3

I Trust You.

God will make a way.

11.29.2010

I think sometimes we get too content with where we are in life and we get frustrated.    Especially with relationships.  We go through life picturing this ideal relationship and when we don't necessarily reach it - we settle.   We just accept whatever that's thrown to us.   It shouldn't be that.   We [females especially] should understand that we deserve so much more and until you get what you deserve - keep waiting.  Patience is truly a virtue.  We have to understand that God is preparing us our MAN and until we are ready we won't get him.  Those bad relationships were preparations for that ONE GOOD LASTING relationship.  Until we understand that we'll forever question ourselves.  What went wrong?  Just accept it.  Granted no one likes the feeling of being alone, being hurt, being deceived -- but those things help us become stronger.   Life is no crystal stair.  Life is no walk in the park....but at the same time it's not always hard.  Just be patient.     Your alone season is sometimes best for you.  It gives you a chance to figure out yourself, to fall in love with you, to spend sometimes with God....don't question your season...embrace and see yourself through.

with love,

april nicole.

11.22.2010

Trust.

• Trust in the perfection of your life and let yourself be fully where you are in the moment.
• Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.  Know that what you have to look forward to is greater than what you are leaving behind.
• And trust that you will "arrive" in time and on time, not a minute sooner or later.

peace and prospertiy,

april nicole. <3

That Girl.

This is TRUTH!

The Miseducation of Nicki Minaj

11.21.2010

Open up your eyes, and close your mouth.
Open up your ears, and listen to the sounds..
Stop existing, and start living..
Your dreams can become your reality..only if you put them in your own hands..
 

♥ signed,
a beautiful dreamer

11.20.2010

We forgive so many people BUT we don't take the time to forgive ourselves