Daily Deliverables.

1. Never settle.  If I know you are wonderful then you should too!
2. Be confident.  It goes a long way if you know how to use it.
3. Count your blessings.
4. Be grateful for what you don't think is enough to be grateful for because it is.
5. Remember that it could ALWAYS be worst.
6. Cry sometimes without being ashamed of the vulnerability.
7. Be able to let someone in willingly.
8. Leave your baggage hidden in your closet where it belongs until you are ready to sort through it.  Don't take it everywhere with you.
9. Take some time for you, to be still, to do nothing - to get to know yourself.

use these wisely,

april nicole.

history.

word.

Women always worry about the things that men forget, men always worry about the things women remember.

Dear You

Dear You,

Today, I sat down at the table – you know the one in the corner of the library where few often look twice at because of its position. Yes, that one. The one we’ve yet to meet at. As I sat there, I started to compose a letter, our letter, the letter. It reads:

I have never met you before, but you know just what I want to say before I say it. You don’t finish my sentences, you start them. You hug me before I say, “I need to be held or I just want to be held.” You are willing to put my needs above yours but can tell when I’m being selfish and still choose not to care. I admire you for that. You love me. I mean, really REALLY love me. You let me throw fits, and punch you, and you just clench your jaw and say, “you better chill woman” and I do. I love the fact that you make me do what you say without feeling like I’m cheating myself. I love how I don’t even know you yet but I know everything about you. The softness of your lips, the smell of your body, the magnitude of your arms… I love how we talk for hours about anything and everything. I love how you see past my imperfections and adore my body – especially the parts I hate. I love how when I smile, you smile at my smile then I smile back at yours. I love how when I cry in your arms, I forget why I’m crying because your love feels too good to remember. I love how I love loving you and then you love me all night long. :) And I love how you forgave me for the other guys. You know the ones I let snack on what you now devour as your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You look past my mistakes, past my excuses, and reasons, and backwards logic and you understand exactly why I’ve done the things I’ve done. And you accept that and you love that. And though I’ve never seen you – I don’t know how gorgeous your eyes are, or how perfect your smile is, or how your fingers fit perfectly between mine but I can love every part of you now. Because I know that you’re there, waiting. I’m giving God my heart and you’ll give him yours too. He’s going to take them in his arms, look at them through His perfect eyes and see that these two hearts are perfect matches. He’s going to give me your heart and give mine to you. I cannot wait to meet you – you’ll find me, there in the corner of the library at the table no one dare looked twice at – waiting for you.

Love,
your future wife

touch the sky.

There comes a time when you must stand alone. You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams. You must be willing to make sacrifices. You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved. Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged. There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities. Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better. Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by. Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

final aspiration: touching the sky. 

Extraordinary Mind.

I do not care what car you drive; where you live. If you know someone who knows someone; If your clothes are this years cutting edge; If your trust fund is unlimited; if you are a-list, b-list, or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you can truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind. – André Jordan.

truth.

A people without knowledge of their past history, origin or

their culture is like a tree without roots

....well

there's still hope!  =)  happy friday people!

power thought.

Be yourself. No crowd pleasers. You don’t have to let popular culture dictate your decisions on how you behave and who you are. Stand firm on what you believe in and please be strong enough to walk alone when need be.

wear it baby.

you're never fully dressed with a smile.  i wear it faithfully - through the good and definitely through the bad.  even if you have to carry a towel never let em' see you sweat. 

05.19.2010

One of God's greatest commandments is to love others as you love yourself and honestly this is the hardest thing for me.  I'm supposed to love someone who spitefully conspires against me,  someone who talks bad about me,  someone who blatantly disrespects me and so on and so forth....Seems like an easy task, right? (sarcasm).   I'm still working on that area.  I've tried to not hold grudges and practice the whole forgive and forget thing but some things are indeed EASIER SAID than DONE.    Hopefully sooner than later I reach the point where I can just let things go rather than dwell on them relentlessly.   

working on me, 

april nicole.

Spend wisely.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

- Carl Sandburg

...really though

Most things are easier said than done.

Soul.

Nourish your soul–however you decide to do that. Connect  with your spirituality. Pour yourself into you passions. Share time and  space with people who lift you up, yet keep it real with you. A well fed  soul is a happy soul.

Father, Can you hear me?

Father can you hear me
We need your love today
I know that you are listening
you hear men everyday
Father please hear us
and we will be ok
father we need you to heal families today

Father can you hear me
I'm calling on your name
Not budda nor muhammed
but it's jesus we cry out loud
Father just forgive us
Hear us when we say
We'll give ya, give ya, give you everything our lifes and souls today

Father you know we need it
I've never seen so much pain
We have the faith for now
Your victory we will gain
father you know we mean it
there's no more heart of stone
were ready for your power
now the sin is gone 

 

Growing Through.

Instead of saying, "going-through" say that you're "growing-through." If you're simply going through something & not using it as an opportunity to grow and learn; then you will spend life going through things. On the other hand, if you pay attention to the experience you're having and learning from it, then you're g...rowing through & you won't have to "go-through" it over and over again.

Anais Nin.

I am an excitable person who only understands life  lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger than reason. I  am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over  me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go.  Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,  & when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No  more walls.

---Anais Nin

boredom prevails.

I'm sitting here in the midst of my boredom slowly giving in to the fact that I have absolutely nothing fun to do.  My phone hasn't rang in hours,  text messages are far and few.  What have I done to deserve this? Lol.  Okay, I'm being overly dramatic but seriously - Saturday nights spent alone truly suck.  I'm not really a club person so that's not an option.  I have a few productive projects that I could possibly tackle but that's work...hard work and right now I need excitement.  The little "boo" apparently didn't get the hint that I wanted to chill.  So, here I am AGAIN on another Saturday night bored to pieces.  Hmph.  This life I live of mine...

peace & much love to ya,

april nicole.

hella hopeful.

power thoughts.

1. never settle. if i know you are wonderful then you should too!
2. be confident. if goes a long way if you know how to use it.
3. count your blessings
4. be grateful for what you don't think is enough to be grateful for because it is
5. remember that it could always be worse
6. cry sometimes. without being ashamed of the vulnerability
7. be able to let someone in willingly
8. leave your baggage hidden in your closet where it belongs until you are ready to sort through it. don't take it everywhere with you.
9. take some time for you to be still, to do nothing, to get to know yourself.

with love,
april nicole <3

the best things

The best things in life:

• accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you
• waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep
• first kisses
• singing in the car <3
• sweet dreams
• holding hands with someone you care about
• taking long hot baths
• knowing that someone misses you.

ha ha ha. i'm soo girly at times. =)

peace & prosperity,
april nicole

find.your.passion

If: A Poem for Young Women

If: A Poem For Young Women

If you can trust yourself though others doubt you
And conquer fears that limit what you dare
So you can then enrich the world about you
With skills and talents that are yours to share;

If you enjoy both quiet introspection
And festive times with friends and family,
If you make time for dreaming and reflection
But still find joy in others' company;

If you can balance dreams with practicality
And deal in facts but never lose ideals,
If you can face the harshness of reality
And find the truths that prejudice conceals;

If you can be courageous when defeated
And humble in the face of victory
Or give your best until a task's completed,
However difficult the task may be;

If you can be sincere when giving credit
And work at building bridges and not walls
Or strive to reach a price until you get it,
Yet never fail to help someone who falls...

If you can temper facts with understanding
And manage well the things in your control
And neither be too lax or too demanding
But keep in mind the worth of every soul;

If you can reach objectives, not begrudging
The patience, time, and effort you impart,
And look at others' actions without judging
And see not with your eyes but with your heart;

If you can take resources that surround you
And use them in the way you feel is good,
You'll be successful... and all those around you
Will be the richer for your womanhood.

 
-Barbara Burrow

beautiful women.

when I look in the mirror & the only one there is me every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be & I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me. my feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see. 

late nights/early morning.

I've seen so many late nights and early mornings for the past couple of weeks.   I recently, maybe a few minutes ago finished a final.  Overall I have a B in the course.  Initially, I decided to take the final again being that we have multiple attempts and the highest grade is what's recorded.   Overachieving at it's finest.  Then I thought again.  My eyes are heavy and I'm tired.  So I'm going to take a little nap and get back up in a few hours and study for another exam.  (yawn) No day's off.

Thank You.

Even when we least expect it God is working on our behalf.  This week (being that it's finals) has been kicking my butt left and right and some days I forget to pray and this is the one time I can honestly say "God knows my heart" and mean it.  I'm not using that as an excuse because at any given moment I thank God for just being him.  Today, I realized that in the midst of me trying to steer left God has my best interest at heart.  So, instead of being totally bummed out as to why what I ultimately wanted didn't transpire - I'm grateful.   I said all of that to say, thank you.  

forever grateful.

untitled.

one step.

the journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step.

=)

P.S. There's hope.

05.09.2010

They take my kindness for weakness.
They take my silence for speechless.
They consider my uniqueness strange.
They call my language slang.
They see my confidence as conceit.
They see my mistakes as defeat.
They consider my success accidental.
They minimize my intelligence to "potential".
My questions mean I'm unaware.
Not to ask means I don't care.
Any praise is preferential treatment.
To voice concern is discontentment.
If I stand up for myself, I'm too defensive.
If I don't trust them, I'm apprehensive.
I'm deviant if I separate.
I'm fake if I assimilate.
My advancement is somehow affair.
When I reach the top, it's considered rare.
My character is constantly under attack.
Pride for my race makes me "too black"

Yes indeed.

Instead of trying to edit & erase mistakes out of my life's story.  I'm going to trust God with this pen.  =)

Fun for me.

I prefer art shows & galleries over parties. prefer going to cafe’s chilling  &listening to music and poetry than drinking. I prefer having intellectual conversations over who is he going out with.  This is my ideal of "fun" - although it may appear rather "lame" to some - I just have a certain type of preference.  That is all. 

Common Sense.

 

Some dudes recognize the light but can't handle the glare.

05.08.2010

When words aren't enough to adequately describe how I feel - I turn on my music.  Seems like every other song possibly describes my thoughts.  I'll start sharing those.  Happy Saturday folks.

with love,

april nicole.

Shade Doesn't Matter.

From a dark (light) skin girl to a light (dark) skin brotha
Shade doesn’t matter, heart makes the lover
Boy you so beautiful
Boy you so beautiful
Shade doesn’t matter, heart makes the lover

Honey brown,

caramel,

coffee brown,

chocolate,

toffee,

pecan,

licorice,

Boy you so beautiful

Loneliness.

Loneliness is the greatest battle you’ll ever have to fight.

Kahlil Gibran

“I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind;
yet strangely, I am ungrateful to these teachers.”

Dear Lauryn.

"Lauryn said, "her heart was in Zion" - I just wish her heart was still in rhyming."

Dear Lauryn,

Your music spoke volumes. We miss you. We need you. Come back to us.

Sincerely,

a southern girl.

Food for thought.

Water doesn't have it's own definition until it becomes ice.

Amusement.

I want to go to six flags.  

Seriously, I need fun right now. 

No Bueno.

To say that I'm tired is an understatement.   Working full time and going to school full time is no joke.  I have the utmost respect for everyone that's grinding to get it.  It's no easy task.  I never understood until now the type of will power it takes to do this.  I'm reminded at the end of the day that all of this is not done in vein.  My bank account is okay, my grades are okay but I want better.  I need to see better.  Im striving for better.  At the moment i feel like i'm in overdrive.  I rarely sleep, I'm up all the time working and schooling and working on school. It's stressful.  I need to really pray more and ask God for continual strength to make it through.  I'm maintaining though.  A very good friend reminded me today that, "I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengths me."  Yup.  Although these hours are no bueno I'm good.  I think.

Still pushing,

April Nicole.

Food for thought.

If no one ever told you who you were, who would you be?