PUSHing.

Ever notice how when you start relying on YOU and less on GOD - that things around you tend to fail?  Ever notice how - when you start chasing wordly things - those same things will end up causing you grief, pain, discomfort - etc?  We are told to set our affections on things above and not beneath for a reason!!  Give God your full attention and anything you could possibly fathom will be in reach.   We get so comfortable that we start trying to figure out life without God - I am SO guilty of this.   Today - I sat back and watched a situation unfold - and initially I wanted to be mad but I sat there like - April, ma'am - why are you upset?  That's your fault.   Stop trying to sow into wordly situations and expect a spiritual harvest.  It will NEVER work out that way.  Today was definitely a lesson learned.

Not only was today a lesson learned - it's an area in my life where I need to totally surrender to God.  

PUSHing,

april. <3

Cleaning.

I am never consistently consistent with posting on here  - but as of late I've been thoroughly enjoying life.   Truly thankful.  

peace and much love to you,

april.

Love...you.

It's so important to be madly in love with yourself.    People, without a doubt will do whatever to defame your character and leave you feeling some type of way - but when you are madly in love with yourself and know where you stand,  these things will be minute.   Let nothing disturb your peace.   

The same love for yourself should be applied when dating/courting.   If you are in the process of getting to know someone and they aren't treating you like you deserve, leave.   It's so simple but we hold on with hopes that the person will change.  Sometimes, they do but most times they don't.   Which is why the common phrase, "you never knew what you had until it's gone."  We've all been down that street, some f us still walking down and some of us made a u turn back to where we got lost and started over.    

Recognize your worth.   It all starts with the man in the mirror, love you properly then you can love others.

With love, 

april.

My testimony.

I've been kind of selfish by not sharing my testimony - well months back prior to graduation - like three days priors I got an email saying that "...unfortunately you won't be able to graduate" and the amount of sadness that flooded my system was unreal.  I had no tears to cry b/c I was numb.    I just sat there frantically searching my brain for an answer.  It was about 3 am when I checked my email.  I had just made it home from hanging with two of my friends after work.   Sooo, I emailed the lady back asking if I could talk with her the next day and I tweeted a little - asking that if anybody would just pray with me - wherever they were..I had a few responses but it wasnt enough.   I had one friend in mind and I called him and I asked him if he could get in prayer with me - - - because in Matthew,  (paraphrasing) Jesus exclaimed that if two people agree on anything He'll do it.   Well that friend talked to me a for a WHILE and calmed me all the way down and then we prayed.  I couldn't sleep for jack though.  I think I literally slept for 15-30 minutes maybe and I was up getting ready to be at her office first thing in the morning.  

As I got dressed, I prayed....when I finished getting dressed I prayed.   I remembered scriptures where God promised to never leave nor forsake us and I also prayed that His will be done.   The scary thing about praying that God's will be done is that anything goes.    When I finally made it to school and talked to the lady it was sort of like an in and out ordeal.  She was like - - - well there's nothing that I can do but I'll talk to one of the dean's whenever he gets here and we'll see what goes from there.   I kind of felt defeated. I walked out of the office trying to hold back the tears and drove home.  Initially, I was just going to get in bed and go to sleep but I couldn't.  I remembered a few years back after Hurricane Katrina when I was having problems with financial aid I contacted Dr. Brumfield in academic affairs and he helped me out tremendously....so I called him again - told him my situation and he gave me a few things to do and instructed me to keep him posted.  So at this point - I'm calm.  I pray again...I finally just really let go and gave it to God - it was out of my hands...

Within 20 - 30 minutes after getting off the phone and laying in bed the lady from the College called and told me that I would be graduating!  The only thing I could do was give glory to God - because it was Him...nobody but Him.  There's so much power in prayer and sometimes we forget.   The first person I called was my mom and told her - she didn't know anything about the situation until after it got situated.  I was too stoked !!!   There is REAL POWER in PRAYER!  I found so many scriptures of promise and everything.

Wellll this is just my lil testimony.  :)

ain't God good,

april.

august 2.

I'm convinced that somewhere between the making of the "laws of attraction" and the actual execution the game got flipped.   Growing up, I always believed that if two people were mutually feeling each other then they acted on it - but not it appears as though if two people are mutually feeling each other - one of the two falls back and then the game of confusion starts.    I never wanted to get to the point where if I liked someone or if someone liked me that I had to ignore them for them to come around.   That's just too childish....and I'm not too fond of someone ignoring me in order for me to be interested.   If you ignore me with no valid reasoning then I'm falling back indefinitely.  I have little to no patience for games.  If I'm in like with you and vice versa then we're going to be adults about it - and just let time take it's course.   If it's not meant to be then hey - on to the next, right?  Hmph.   Just strange that when I finally decide to be "off" someone then they come around trying to do right.  Too little, too late buddy.

with love,
april.