PUSHing.

Ever notice how when you start relying on YOU and less on GOD - that things around you tend to fail?  Ever notice how - when you start chasing wordly things - those same things will end up causing you grief, pain, discomfort - etc?  We are told to set our affections on things above and not beneath for a reason!!  Give God your full attention and anything you could possibly fathom will be in reach.   We get so comfortable that we start trying to figure out life without God - I am SO guilty of this.   Today - I sat back and watched a situation unfold - and initially I wanted to be mad but I sat there like - April, ma'am - why are you upset?  That's your fault.   Stop trying to sow into wordly situations and expect a spiritual harvest.  It will NEVER work out that way.  Today was definitely a lesson learned.

Not only was today a lesson learned - it's an area in my life where I need to totally surrender to God.  

PUSHing,

april. <3

Cleaning.

I am never consistently consistent with posting on here  - but as of late I've been thoroughly enjoying life.   Truly thankful.  

peace and much love to you,

april.

Love...you.

It's so important to be madly in love with yourself.    People, without a doubt will do whatever to defame your character and leave you feeling some type of way - but when you are madly in love with yourself and know where you stand,  these things will be minute.   Let nothing disturb your peace.   

The same love for yourself should be applied when dating/courting.   If you are in the process of getting to know someone and they aren't treating you like you deserve, leave.   It's so simple but we hold on with hopes that the person will change.  Sometimes, they do but most times they don't.   Which is why the common phrase, "you never knew what you had until it's gone."  We've all been down that street, some f us still walking down and some of us made a u turn back to where we got lost and started over.    

Recognize your worth.   It all starts with the man in the mirror, love you properly then you can love others.

With love, 

april.

My testimony.

I've been kind of selfish by not sharing my testimony - well months back prior to graduation - like three days priors I got an email saying that "...unfortunately you won't be able to graduate" and the amount of sadness that flooded my system was unreal.  I had no tears to cry b/c I was numb.    I just sat there frantically searching my brain for an answer.  It was about 3 am when I checked my email.  I had just made it home from hanging with two of my friends after work.   Sooo, I emailed the lady back asking if I could talk with her the next day and I tweeted a little - asking that if anybody would just pray with me - wherever they were..I had a few responses but it wasnt enough.   I had one friend in mind and I called him and I asked him if he could get in prayer with me - - - because in Matthew,  (paraphrasing) Jesus exclaimed that if two people agree on anything He'll do it.   Well that friend talked to me a for a WHILE and calmed me all the way down and then we prayed.  I couldn't sleep for jack though.  I think I literally slept for 15-30 minutes maybe and I was up getting ready to be at her office first thing in the morning.  

As I got dressed, I prayed....when I finished getting dressed I prayed.   I remembered scriptures where God promised to never leave nor forsake us and I also prayed that His will be done.   The scary thing about praying that God's will be done is that anything goes.    When I finally made it to school and talked to the lady it was sort of like an in and out ordeal.  She was like - - - well there's nothing that I can do but I'll talk to one of the dean's whenever he gets here and we'll see what goes from there.   I kind of felt defeated. I walked out of the office trying to hold back the tears and drove home.  Initially, I was just going to get in bed and go to sleep but I couldn't.  I remembered a few years back after Hurricane Katrina when I was having problems with financial aid I contacted Dr. Brumfield in academic affairs and he helped me out tremendously....so I called him again - told him my situation and he gave me a few things to do and instructed me to keep him posted.  So at this point - I'm calm.  I pray again...I finally just really let go and gave it to God - it was out of my hands...

Within 20 - 30 minutes after getting off the phone and laying in bed the lady from the College called and told me that I would be graduating!  The only thing I could do was give glory to God - because it was Him...nobody but Him.  There's so much power in prayer and sometimes we forget.   The first person I called was my mom and told her - she didn't know anything about the situation until after it got situated.  I was too stoked !!!   There is REAL POWER in PRAYER!  I found so many scriptures of promise and everything.

Wellll this is just my lil testimony.  :)

ain't God good,

april.

august 2.

I'm convinced that somewhere between the making of the "laws of attraction" and the actual execution the game got flipped.   Growing up, I always believed that if two people were mutually feeling each other then they acted on it - but not it appears as though if two people are mutually feeling each other - one of the two falls back and then the game of confusion starts.    I never wanted to get to the point where if I liked someone or if someone liked me that I had to ignore them for them to come around.   That's just too childish....and I'm not too fond of someone ignoring me in order for me to be interested.   If you ignore me with no valid reasoning then I'm falling back indefinitely.  I have little to no patience for games.  If I'm in like with you and vice versa then we're going to be adults about it - and just let time take it's course.   If it's not meant to be then hey - on to the next, right?  Hmph.   Just strange that when I finally decide to be "off" someone then they come around trying to do right.  Too little, too late buddy.

with love,
april.

Peace.

I'm at PEACE with everything.  =)

The Bigger Person.

Growing up, we're taught that being the bigger person is generally the "best" person to be in a situation.  Or at least - that's the role that we sometimes accept during an altercation.   Lately, I've been frantically trying to fit myself in this role.  It's been hard and sometimes it makes me seem fake but maybe I'm learning a lesson here.  The lesson is unbeknownst to me as of right now but there's a lesson in everything, right?  I'm hoping.  

Lately, I've been getting way too involved with someone who has shown signs of being nothing but poison but being that it's human nature we tend to like things that are sometimes hazardous to our health.  Maybe that's a bit extreme?  I've tried ignoring him, being uber nice to him and simply giving in (I'll expound later...or not).  BUT y'all this has been hard for me.   I actually can see that there's some maturation going on because the old me would have let this guy have it and called it a day.  

I tried the entire, "I'm not speaking to you today but I will make you perfectly aware of what you're missing" Failed.  I tried being really nice, with intentions of throwing him for a loop - failed.  ---- that only made me realize how naive I was being.  AND lastly, I just gave in....just letting my emotions play out and y'all that is the worst of the worst.  NEVER let your emotions take the lead - they'll lead you astray EVERY time...well maybe not EVERY time but SOME of the time.  

Nonetheless,  I've realized that usually when things are this "hard" or "complicated" it's time to just let it go.  As much as I may miss the attention (because truly that's all I was really digging) I'll be straight.   I'm getting re-equipped to handle situations like this a bit better.

with love, 

april.

New Chapter.

Where to begin?  Life is amazing right now.  I graduated from college on the 21st of May and I'm proud.   It was a bit bittersweet walking across the stage because my collegiate years haven't been a walk in the park - but I made it.  New chapters await and I'm ready to turn a few pages.  :)

signed,
a college grad.

05.11.2011

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity.

Benjamin Franklin

05.07.2011

It's been almost a month since I've posted.  I've been sort of busy with life - enjoying it and all!    I'm growing y'all.  I'm growing.   I have about two weeks remaining before I'm an official college graduate.  LONG time coming - but that race isn't given to the swift but those who endure to the end.   I'm claiming new beginnings though.  I'm excited.  

Hope all is well with whomever may be reading this.  KEEP GOD FIRST and life will be abundantly sweet.  

Peace & Prosperity,

april nicole. <3

Rambles.

Just a slew of random thoughts.  Pardon me.

I was sitting here, fresh off of work checking out some literature on facebook and the craving for this ideal guy sprouted (again).    I think I won't be fully satisfied if my Mr. Heaven Sent (also known as Mr. Right) isn't fully equipped, artistically.    To connect with someone beyond the physical is awe inspiring in abundance and I know without a shadow of a doubt - he is out there.   Despite the low key thirst which may be surfacing - I wholeheartedly desire the brother that's not afraid of embracing his culture...the one who's pen is mighty....the one who's running next to me to chase our Father.....effortlessly fly.....

Yeah.

03.25.2011

No one will make a lock without a key; similarly God won't give problems without solutions! #PUSHing. =)

smile.mp3

03.10.2011

On this day of your life, April, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are what you think of all day long.
	Day after day your thoughts shape you like dripping water shapes rock. Pay attention to what you are habitually thinking about, - are your thoughts serving you well?

I Understand.

03.04.2011

Never forget who you are & WHO's you are. God is Love & we are LOVED! ♥

You Just Lost One.

I Will Wait For You.

v=

02.25.2011

The action that causes us to put on God’s dignity and to become all that He is, is looking into the Word. The Word says that we are changed. “Change” means to be transformed. In other words, there is a constant changing. The more you look into the mirror of the Word, the more you will think different, talk different, and act different. The more you get into the Word, the more you look just like Jesus in the earth, and the more His love will flow through you.

The Lord's Prayer

"Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But -- you called ME!
Called you?
No, I didn't call you..
I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.
There -- you did it again!
Did what?
Called ME.
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am..
What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it. 
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Go on.
Okay, Hallowed be thy name . 
Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"?
It means, it means .. . good grief, 
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Hey, that makes sense.. 
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing?  Why, nothing, I guess.

I just think it would be kind of neat if you got

control, of everything down here like you have up

there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know;
but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church..
That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend

your money -- all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read ?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest

of those People at church!

Excuse ME..
I thought you were praying
for my will to be done..
If that is to happen,
it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example ..
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now,
but I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.
Good.
Now we're getting somewhere.

We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
You need to cut out the bread..
You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
and all of a sudden you break in
and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.
Remember, you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying.  ( pause . . )
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared?  Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try ME.
Forgive us our sins,

as we forgive those who sin against us.
What about Ann?
See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me..
I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it..
Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that

bitterness and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her.
She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right, all right . .
I forgive her.
There now!
Wonderful!
How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad.
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer, are you?

Go on.
Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know..
Okay.
Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory?
What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now...
I've really made a mess of things.
I want to truly follow you....
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me . . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU  just did".

02.21.2011

God has always used ordinary people to carry out His extraordinary mission.

Chasing After You.mp3

Affirmations.

1.I will take care of myself
2.I will love my inner being
3.I will not doubt myself
4.I will go the extra mile
5.I will trust my first instinct
6.I will not fear failure
7.I will pamper myself
8.I will clean as I go
9.I will learn from my mistakes
10.I will not be afraid to ask for help
11.I will try new things
12.I will overcome my weakness
13.I will share my rewards
14.I will teach wisdom
15.I will create within my home
16.I will never stop looking for love
17.I will never stop giving love
18.I will not be afraid
19.I will never stop learning
20.I will say that I am beautiful
21.I will tell other women that they are beautiful
22.I will work through the pain
23.I will not hold regrets
24.I will get plenty of beauty sleep
25.I will no longer feel guilty
26.I will take care of my spirit
27.I will laugh until the end
28.I will write down my experiences
29.I will offer wise advice
30.I will exercise more than often
31.I will not store negative energy
32.I will not surround myself with negative people
33.I will love my natural beauty
34.I will not take everything so serious
35.I will listen carefully
36.I will explain myself eloquently
37.I will love my loved ones
38.I will explore many cultures
39.I will stand up for what I believe in
40.I will never feel worthless
41.I will never carry guilt
42.I will make time for me
43.I will nurture nature
44.I will accept change
45.I will give with no thought of receiving
46.I will drink plenty of water
47.I will make love intensely
48.I will not fear death
49.I will stay active
50.I will not procrastinate
51.I will never give up on my dreams
52.I will keep a to-do-list
53.I will not feel bad if I do not accomplish every task & goal
54.I will have the will to be me!

02.09.11

Mysteries of Iniquity

Say what you will about this woman - but she is spiritual and I can dig it.  I listened to her MTV Unplugged album today and was thoroughly impressed.  I've "heard" it before but I "listened" to it today.  

02.07.2011

A candle loses nothing of its light by lightning another candle.

black history.

In pursuit of Mr. Perfect...

I was online last night and I believe someone tweeted or perhaps it was retweet (nonetheless it was on Twitter) that "so many women miss out on Mr. Right waiting and/or looking for Mr. Perfect and I'm here to add my two cents...

The only form of perfection I search for is Jesus - my God is a perfect God - outside of that I am fully aware that man isn't perfect so seeking perfection in someone in human form is rather silly.   Granted someones' Mr. Right may be their form of perfection as in having every possible exhaustive quality that they seek but at the same time to each his own....correct?  Correct.   I remember some time ago having a similar conversation with one of my friends and we were discussing ideal qualities and the reasoning behind me being single and refusing to give any guy "play" - I desire certain things in a guy and above all some are of high priority and some are merely things I like but could actually go without.   She began to express that I may not get all I want so I shouldn't my hopes up - at the end of the day wouldn't that be settling.  I refuse to believe that there isn't that one guy divinely created for me - I refuse to believe that and until then I'll continue to enjoy my singlehood (lol) and patiently wait.     I believe that these days it's common to be in a relationship and just desire a mate but I desire THE mate not just A.  Mine.  My "other half" as they often call them.  

I digress.

Peace & Prosperity,

april.

He wants it all.

There's a God that walks over the earth He's searching for a heart that is desperate & longing for a child that will give Him their all. Give it all. He wants it all! He says, "Love me with your whole heart. Serve Me with your life now. Bow down let go of your idles." He wants it all today!

01.26.2011

It is not how many years we live but what we do with them.

Catherine Booth

On this day...

On this day of your life, April, we believe God wants you to know ... that you can't hide your shortcomings from God.
	Failures, weaknesses, and fears; God knows them all. Many people attempt to hide issues from God, but it is futile.�Seems like a bummer until you realize that God loves you anyway; unconditionally, immeasurably and infinitely.

On this day app from facebook.  Just thought I'd share my message "on this day" =)

01.25.2011

Love is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life.  To each and every one of us, it gives the power of working miracles if we will.

Lydia Maria Child

Memorable Stories.

Old statuses or "memorable stories" as facebook describes them.  Just thought I'd share:

• Mistakes are part of the game. It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player.
• I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings, even if I respect theirs. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee that others will be good people, too. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away.
•  I'm not perfect, but I got the desire to improve.
• Take time to "do you" - Saying NO to others is OK! Remember: you might be able to do anything but you can't do everything.  
• was halfway across America, at the dividing line between the east of my youth and the west of my future.
• I wish for you comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth & love to complete your life.
• Sometimes what I look for in a relationship I can only find in God.
• Stop making judgments on people because of what you heard about some one else's experience with them.
• Focus on the people in your life who are genuine; and if you have no one, remember you have God.

1.11.11.

Unbelief says, whatever God did over there, can't possibly happen here. Whatever God did then, can't possibly be done now. Whatever God did for that person, can't possibly be done for me. FAITH says, HOLD UP, whatever God did there, He can & wants to do here. Whatever God did then, He can & wants to do now. And whatever God did for that person, He can & wants to do for me. Choose your perspective. ♥

New Year Rambles.

It's a New Year and my first post of the New Year.  Wow 2010 is over and here we are blessed to see a new year.   Earlier on twitter I tweeted (something of the nature) "2011 = big things. Thanking God in advance for abundance; for prosperity; for His favor!" and I am immensely excited to see where He takes me this year.  

More rambles.   I truly and wholeheartedly believe that if God is the foundation of anything in your life - then regardless of what storm arises you'll be able to stand firm.  We go through things in order to test our Love for Him.  Do we truly and honestly love God as we proclaim?  I always think of Job's love for God and how I aspire to be like Job.  No matter what happened to him he stayed faithful - he was solid in his love.   We live in a generation today where if something that remotely resembles a hard time - we're quick to call it quits.   Thus the decline in sustainable love.  I tell myself that God will be the foundation of all my friendships and relationships - because no matter what life blows in my direction I have something firm to rely upon. 

When you're growing (spiritually) you begin to understand things a lot greater than before.  I used to allow physical attraction to a guy be what I considered the most.  I gave a list of all these things I sought in a guy - he has to be this - he has to be that - then we'd say oh he has to be God-fearing.  Do we (ladies) really and truly understand what it means to have a God-fearing man?  So many profess to be God-fearing but they take you through Hell and back - and still say Jesus is number 1 in their life.  Understand that when a person TRULY fears the Lord - they are afraid to do things.  It's some things that people will NOT do if they truly love God.    We should start looking for the Jesus in a person before trying to date them or even subject ourselves to this person.   If a person is not faithful to God - how do you expect them to be faithful to you? Won't happen.  

I was talking with a friend one day and I was like well the bible says that, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" - and asked me if I kept reading - that it continued to say, "if your ways please Him" - we as Christians tend to that - we get bible verse and we only read the parts that fit in our lifestyles.  We do things like that.   How can we expect a blessing if our lifestyle is not in line with what the Word says?  Impossible?  We expect BIG things from Him but won't devote BIG TIME to Him.  I always think about a conversation I had with the same friend and he began to ask me to think about the last time I was in love and the feelings that came with it... I realized that when you're in love every moment of your day you're thinking about that person - the thought of their name makes you smile - you learn their behavior - what makes them happy - what makes them mad - what makes them sad - etc - because you're trying to perfect your relationship with them.  Given the same account what about our relationship with God?  Do we utilize these same tactics?  Do we wake up and say Lord I desire to know You a little better today than I did yesterday?  What makes You mad?  What makes You happy?  You can't love someone and not spend time with them.   It takes time....and if you put forth an effort he'll put forth an effort.  

This was another big ramble....but again I hope you understood my points.  

Be blessed.  Much Love.  

Peace and prosperity,

april nicole <3